Wondering

It is natural for people to wonder about things - the way the world works, how human beings develop, what matters most to each and every person. So keeping things in the realm of the human being, here it goes:

We are living in a time when all things are happening at a speed and intensity that seems unmatched in prior times. The extremes are where we are living and the spaces in between are expanding to the point where we cannot see each other anymore. To be able to work and to exist in the interstitial space is more vital now than ever before - and it's getting harder and harder to do.

To find your way to the place that is no place but also every place, is tricky. It is possible to locate that spot by one method that has worked since humanity emerged as more than a being clever enough to dodge demise. Today, we call the method, "meditation" or "contemplation". The preparation seems always to require an encounter with crisis. No one decides to sit quietly and just breathe when everything is going along just fine. Why do it? Everything is working just as planned. It is when things fall apart, and when pain and suffering get to the point of paralyzing a person – that's when it becomes clear that there is really nothing to do but sit (to avoid self-destruction or decline self-medication). It is when the hurt is so bad that it makes no sense to keep banging your head against the same wall. So whether it is out of exhaustion or confusion or deep recognition that anything you do will make things worse - that's when stopping is the thing that makes the most sense.

The crisis in this moment creates a new kind of wondering - it emerges from a pains that are enveloping us all. If you are not the one who has to make the untenable choice between eating and getting an infection examined so it doesn't erupt into a full blown medical crisis - you know the pain. If you have to tell a child that they cannot go out to play because the family has already lost a father, a brother, an auntie, or sister - that is pain coupled with deep worry about fundamental safety. If you are at the edge of being evicted with your family because rent cannot be made because gas is too expensive to do work in an economy that offers "freedom" to set your own schedule as a gig worker - that's when going quiet for a minute is the thing a person might do. It's all wondering what is happening in our individual and collective life.

It's time to take our wondering about what is next to a place of checking what each of us can do to alleviate the pain. There is plenty to do and thankfully, there are many avenues for getting back to our basic purpose as human beings who wonder about things. Move out of the head space of fear and scarcity - this is the hardest in a capital driven society. Move out of the head space that only your biological family matters - we are all in this life together, now more than ever. Move into the space of generosity, kindness, and caring by finding at least one value that you can manifest in the day ahead. Then, take that value and express it in some way – modest as can be.

A friend shared a story about a memory from childhood. His family came out of the internment experience of Japanese Americans and dad was an artist of some talent and ability to support a gaggle of four kids and spouse. But there were times when food was not affordable and you always knew because the dinner would be hamburger meat and cabbage (and rice, of course). One day when dad was not employed, he told my friend do go with him - dad had two bags of food. As a child, my friend saw this and thought about how his own family needed food too. But dad drove about a mile away and went behind a building where there were a few small apartments to meet a man named Monty. The food was for him and his five kids. This memory to this day has lasted such that my friend (now past his mid-70's) makes it is daily routine to spread kindness and generosity daily. Whether it is a simple "hello" and meeting the eyes of another person, or dropping $10 into a Salvation Army red bucket. He lives with that childhood memory of a father who gave his son something much more of an inheritance than money can buy. The boy's wondering about his dad's actions has lasted a lifetime and it is a vein of kindness, attentiveness, generosity, and care that is not charity. It is a way of being. Our wondering can change our being.