To be Honest...

Today I rise when it is still dark.  I don't know what the sky will look like, but I do know that it is currently 53 degrees fahrenheit.  Today is Wednesday.

Have you heard these words in conversation lately, "...to be honest..."?

It's an interesting phrase that often enters into conversations that are supposed to be deeply transparent, truth telling, and... honest.  It is as if the person speaking has to make this a part of their story because maybe somewhere, they know what they are saying is not the whole truth of the matter.  It's a curious thing, this phrase.  And it seems to come up quite regularly in personal exchanges, in professional settings when issues are being teased out, and in conversations with g-d.  It might just be a way for us to keep ourselves in check about an important value in life.  I don't really know.

This conversation with self just came up this morning as the start of the day began in the quiet and stillness of a new cycle.  The words just entered the awareness of how people engage with one another and it led to a thought about how many exchanges may not be so honest.

Maybe it is because there are serious, deep conversations happening now- all about the way in which one can remain resilient in the face of collapse of so many things in our world.  The poor job we are doing in caring for our mother ship, the refusal to give up "power" as a framework to learn how to better care for people, the collapse of societies resulting in youth taking to the streets and expressing frustration bringing harm to others and things in community - all of it seems to be part of the collapse.

And yet, there must remain faith in humankind -  hope that there is a way for things to get better, work that will bend the arc toward more than "justice" and lean further into affirming life in all forms.  Yes, there will always be change and sometimes that means things will have to collapse so space can be made for something else to emerge.  Hope is a way to encourage moving into action, and out of despair over the things that have gone into a state of disrepair.

What allows one to connect into the energy that wants to affirm life is being around children who play and "make believe" (an interesting phrase in itself).  It is in walking through nature, whether by the sea or in a park or taking a forest bath.  It is in gathering with people you care about and being able to laugh, cry, reminisce about memories of joy and beauty.  One hopes that we all have the ability to do something like that in order to energize and re-engage in life as it is today.

To be honest, it seems that life is just one big question mark, and no matter how many years one puts in, no matter how sincere the seeking, who knows if we will survive, let alone thrive in all of this.  Let's make believe that we are building something fantastic now.