Goals

Grey, foggy, wet. The day began with rain. And it was warm at 60 degrees fahrenheit. Today is Thursday.

In life, we have so many goals - our training from childhood to death is about achieving certain goals, and the goals are mostly about acquiring things: book knowledge that is measured by standardized testing (if one is fortunate enought to access education), credentials that will open job opportunities, occupations that will give a person financial security, partners "for life" who will remain close forever, and more. You can add to the list.

This morning, the idea of goals and setting goals came into awareness. What most parents want for their children is health and happiness. Some want loyalty to the family's values and traditions and largesse. Others want the contemporary definition of "success" to be achieved (as a proxy for security and safety and status). Still others reach a point in life where the goal is to die/transition with as much ease and few regrets as possible. And what is missing from the master narrative?

In listening to the events of the day as reported in the news, or reviewing what is getting shared in social media feeds, or even talking to people in today's world - it is all about goals and setting goals. Even collectively, we are about goals - fundraising goals, voter registration goals, impact goals measured by metrics created for the purpose of deciding whether goals are being met. It can be disorienting because if one does not operate on the idea of setting goals, but just wants to be in a place of wellness in the world - will it be necessary for us to add another goal to reach a state of wellness?

As one who has been in the goal-setting mode for more than six decades, it seems that goal-setting has been the way our society fundamentally operates at every level. There is no cultivation of relationship building, listening, caring for others and not reaching one's goal because the value set is to identify sacrifice as one of the things we must learn to do and value. It is foreign to the world of compete and repeat.

Small sacrifices are a good starting point. Not allowing anger to arise when someone cuts in - on the road or in line. Being patient when another needs more time (in seconds, not hours) to move. Learning to recognize one's own contribution to a mess that requires tending to in order to get back to stasis. Then, one might "graduate" to making sacrifices that are a little more hefty, like learning to give up some resource or opportunity so another human being might have a much needed chance at stabilizing their life, feeding a child, or covering costs in an unexpected emergency. We all have those. Unexpected, unwelcome emergencies.

It isn't obvious as to why the word "goals" came to awareness today. Just another angle to a well-worn theme: deeply examine self in the world.