Adjusting

The sky is going to be blue...but for now, grey is the tone. The temperature is 59 degrees fahrenheit. Today is Sunday.

The idea of adjusting came to mind this morning. Not a surprise given the shift in family, with dad passing and mom now living on. We find that life ias all about making adjustments to our actions, views, and relationships - all a part of the survival kit that needs to be a part of living in today's world.

The passing of dad was gentle and peaceful. Many say that it would be nice to just go to sleep one day and not wake up - and that is exactly what happened with dad. One moment he was sleeping while my sister was preparing an oxygen mask, and the next, he had stopped breathing. Just like that: his body simply stopped. No drama, no resistance, complete acceptance of the inevitable. A gentle departure that was more of a release and conclusion to an exhale that has been long and slow.

In the aftermath, the energy around a proper closing of a life went up - a lot of decisions and lessons about the order of activities, the preparation for final rites, and the decisions that need to be made about disposition of all the things we do while living - documentation to satisfy responsible third parties that the death was natural and confirmed, notice to extended family members, management of accounts that must be notified as well. There is a routine, a process, and a different kind of energy that emerges in this part of life. And the blessing is when the one who has passed, has prepared for this moment that all of us will meet.

A long delay for the memorial - an activity that is more for the surviving family members than for the one who has gone on. The way in which the life is remembered called a "celebration" of a life, but the euphemism seems like it should be shifted. "Celebrate Life!" The death is a final gift to everyone because it is a moment to remember that life is something that keeps going and we need to remember that part of living is celebrating with one another. All of the practical things about how the surviving community of friends and family will live - will work out. It always does - for better, or maybe not - but it works out.

Adjusting is how it happens. The question of how the adjustment is made is another matter. For some, it is going to be a small change, with one less piece or person to consider in tending to life as it continues. For others, it can be a major transition because the missing physical presence will open the door to old memories that will endure, some joyful and others painful. In all cases, there will have to be an adjustment. That's what humans do with every passing day. It's how we find our way - to the end.